Hello, I am Zoheb! Nice to meet you. Or not. At this moment, I am not really sure. I am writing with a severe hangover, so please bear with me. I am a man of routine. And by routine, I mean addiction. Of the worst kind. I make it a point to watch one movie every day. Yeah, you read that right. One movie. Every single day. Even if my life depends on it. Which, let’s be frank, it most often does.
See, I am someone who is in the process of overcoming alcohol addiction. A recovering alcoholic, as they say. Or at least, I am supposed to be. The thing is, I don’t really want to recover. You know what I mean? Why would I want to give up the one thing that makes life tolerable, right? So, I have just accepted that I am an alcoholic now. And it is time you did as well. It is easier that way.
I live in Bengaluru, the city of dreams. Or nightmares. Depending on how much I have had to drink. It is a great city, really. The traffic, the pollution, the constant noise, the dogs, it is all just fuel for my inebriated brain.
Thank you for asking, for that brings me to the point of this blog. I want to share my life with you. Or at least, my inebriated version of life. I want you to see the world through my eyes, which are usually bloody and blurry. Yeah, bless me. You are welcome.
What else do I share? Oh, yeah, I think I have a wife and two kids. Maybe. It is hard to tell, really. It has been so freaking long since I have seen, smelled and touched them that I am starting to believe they are just a figment of my imagination. But hey, this is what happens when you are too busy writing and promoting a blog that has zero followers and zero reads. Priorities, you know?
And let’s get one thing straight. I hate dogs. And all animals in general, actually. Something happened when I was a kid… too traumatic to tell. But let’s just say I bought a dog when I was a kid, and to my horror, I noticed that it never took a bath on its own. I mean, come on! If you can’t even take care of your own hygiene, how can I trust you? It’s a principle thing.
Alright then, sit back, stretch your legs, get some popcorn, and enjoy the ride. Or don’t. I really don’t care. I will just be over here, watching movies, drinking myself into oblivion, wondering if my family is real, and avoiding any creature that cannot use a shower.
